Fire and Ice
by Thirteen94
Summary: Piper has a lot of time to reflect on her thoughts- set after the finale so spoilers ahead. Eventual Piper and Alex
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) I felt like this fandom needed more fanfics, plus I have a lot of feelings I need to get written down, I do have a couple more chapters planned... but we'll see what you guys think of it first, deal?

**Day three**  
Piper lay on her back, legs resting against the wall of the concrete much like she had done the last time she found herself here.  
Back in SHU  
This time she understood why she was here  
Doggett, was she even alive? Piper lifted her hands to stare at them, the cut that was given to her by that psychopath had been swiftly stitched up before she had been locked in here, her knuckles were black with bruises, the cuts that lined each knuckle red and swollen. Piper let her arms drop to the side of her head as she continued to stare at the ceiling  
Why had she done that? She couldn't say self defense, it has stopped being that the second she had jumped on top of Doggett.  
There was nothing to say, nobody to talk to- not even the voice behind the vent was speaking to her  
How long was she going to be here?  
How long until the voices start?

**Day six**  
What was Alex doing? Why had she shown up?  
Why had she pulled Piper off of that psychopath?  
Alex had said literally hours before that she was done with her, but there she was, saving her ass.  
Why couldn't Piper remember that night?  
How long had it been? A week? Less? More?  
Who knows

**Day eight**  
Piper wasn't afraid anymore. There had been crying, feelings of guilt and remorse, those feelings had faded. Sure the guilt was still there, and Piper made a silent promise that if she ever got out and if Doggett was alive, she would apologise.  
Apologies aren't worth anything here. That's what Red would have said  
But what else was there to offer?  
A guard opens the slot and holds a tray out. Piper takes it but doesn't eat

**Day fourteen**  
The bruises have healed now, the cuts almost healed, but the scars will remain, tiny reminders of the night Piper became a monster. Her hair limp as it framed her face. Honestly, Piper was thankful there was no mirror, sleep seldom comes- the screaming from the other captives never stop.  
How long until she ends up like them?  
She feels her ribs beneath her shirt, they're becoming more visable with each passing day.  
Piper tries not to think of her friends, it hurts too much if she does  
But constant reminders of the people she has met in this place flash through her mind.  
Piper tries not to think too hard as to why Larry and Polly never invade her thoughts

**Day twenty**  
How long has it been? The vent was right, there really is no passage of time inside this place. What does the outside look like? Is it still snowing? How are her friends doing? Is Red dealing with not having the kitchen? Or does she have it back? How is Taystee? How is Morello doing with planning her wedding? How is Nicky?  
How is Alex?  
Alex.  
Will Alex even talk to her if she gets out of here?  
Piper lets out a frustrated scream, ignoring the pain in her throat  
How long has it been since she spoke?  
What was she thinking about?  
Alex  
Piper's heart aches with the thought of her, she misses Alex the most, everything about her.

**Day thirty**  
She can't take much more of this. She's essentially starving herself out now. When the "meal" was given to her last night Piper had realised that whatever it was was so rubbery in texture that she had managed to roll it up into a ball.  
What was depressing was that it worked, it bounced off of the wall and back into her hands.  
She had lost track of how long she had been doing this.  
Alex  
Larry  
Alex and Larry  
Larry and Alex  
She played memories of them throughout her mind, trying to decide if she had made the right choice in choosing Larry  
Alex was the fire  
Larry was the ice  
Alex offered adventure and freedom, while Larry offered comfort and solidarity  
Alex made Piper's heart swell, her blood boil  
Larry calmed her  
Alex would free fall through life, her soul burning, her heart on fire  
Larry would offer all of the things that her mother wanted for her  
Wait.  
The ball of food fell flat against the wall.  
Larry was what her mother wanted, the marriage, the home, the kids. Well paid job. Legal job.  
Had it been a lie? A way to appease her mother?  
No  
It had been real, but not exactly.  
Larry had been the anchor to stop Piper from being free, an attempt to stop the lifestyle she had once loved.  
Larry was the ice  
Ice will always melt  
Fire will always burn. If the flame goes out it just needs a spark


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N) Hey what's up guys? This is a flashback chapter! (Yay flashbacks) with some PoV switches thrown in for good measure, enjoy!

**Alex**

Alex leant against the wall, turning the page of her book, she couldn't see the words but it served as a half decent distraction.  
"Vause, you gonna come to the pageant or what?" Nicky walked into her cube and dropped down on the bed beside her. Alex didn't bother to reply, just focussed on the words in front of her. Nicky stared at her for a moment before pulling the book from her grasp and dropping it on the bed between them.  
"It's about Chapman isn't it?" That got Alex's attention  
"What do you mean?"  
"You're thinking about her" Nicky stated. Alex sighed and turned away from her friend, staring at the wall in front of her  
"She seemed freaked out about something" Alex replied quietly, from the corner of her eye she saw Nicky nod  
"You guys are inevitable"  
"I know" Alex sighed again as she pulled off her glasses and placed them on top of her head  
"What we did earlier, that was a one time thing" Nicky stated again  
"Is that what you want or what you think I want?" Alex asked  
"Both" Nicky shrugged as she glanced at Alex "You love Chapman and I don't wanna get in between that, I can get Morello again soon enough- besides it was my Christmas present, it's not fair If I got it all the time y'know?" Nicky winked  
Alex nodded but said nothing  
"So...Pageant?"  
"Sure. Whatever" Alex sighed as she made a move to stand, she turned to Nicky waiting for her to follow suit  
"I'll be right behind you, I gotta go pick up something from my room first"

**Piper**  
Her body is on fire, despite the cold all Piper can feel is the heat, the throbbing from her hand- Doggett is speaking, she knows that, but instead Piper focuses on her hand, watches as the blood drips from her flesh and colours and hits the ground, the red a strong contrast compared the white of the snow. Her blood is on fire. Doggett is still talking, Piper just stares at her, seeing the meth heads mouth move but hearing nothing but static.  
Healy was going to let this happen.  
He was going to let her die  
A part of Piper agrees with him, things would be easier for herself that way. Everybody can go on a live their lives, everything can go back to normal, like it probably was before she showed up.  
"Cause God loves me, he don't love you cause you ain't worthy of Gods love" the words cleared the static inside of Piper's mind, her eyes met Doggett- damn this bitch was crazy  
"You ain't worthy of nobody's love" Crazy, sure. But Piper couldn't explain nor deny the pain that filled her chest at the statement. She's right, Piper doesn't deserve to be loved. She puts herself above all others, even when they needed her the most.  
Alex  
Piper knows Alex loves her, it's not like it's a big secret anyway, but time and time again Piper has betrayed that love, thrown it back into the brunettes face and walked away.  
Piper lost it  
She had resigned herself to die tonight, she had given up the moment that cross sliced through her hand.  
Not now  
No  
Piper won't die tonight  
"So I think it's time...that you die" Doggett lifted the cross and lunged towards Piper.  
"NO!" Piper yelled, it didn't sound like Piper though, and that's what scared her the most, it sounded like she had been possessed, which on some level she assumed may be true. She sent a silent prayer to Poussey for giving her self defence tips. Doggett was disarmed and down, she should just walk away, she was safe  
But for how long? How long until it happens again? An hour? A day?  
No, she will not run any more. She will not live in fear.  
It's time to teach the bitch a lesson.  
Do not fuck with Piper Chapman.  
She didn't even realise she was pounding the crap out of the psychopaths face until she heard the blood splatter against the snow.

**Alex**  
Alex approached the doors leading to the outside, shooting a quick glance over her shoulder she realised Nicky hadn't caught up yet- god knows what she was doing but she said she'd catch up so she would. Alex pulled her coat tighter around her body as she pushed open the doors, her breath hitching in her throat as the winter air hit her face.  
That was when she heard it, a yell of pain, a growl of frustration, both buried beneath the continuous sound, it sounded like the beat of a drum, an uneasy feeling filled the pit of Alex's stomach as she dashed around the corner, skidding in the snow slightly to see Piper on top of Doggett beating the shit out of her.  
"Piper!" Alex's voice was lost on the blonde. "Fuck" She growled under her breath and ran over to the pair, skidding to a stop behind Piper and grabbed her shoulders.  
"Piper." no response "Piper stop" Nothing "PIPER" Alex wrapped her arms around Piper's chest and forcefully pulled her backwards and slamming her into the snow. Piper just lay there, Alex stared at her waiting for a response, an acknowledgement, anything. She looked over her shoulder to see Doggett, laying there in the snow, blood splattered the ground around her, her face beaten and bloody. Piper had yet to move.  
"Fuck" Alex mumbled again and closed the distance between herself and Doggett, pressing two finger to her neck, she waited  
"Is she alive" came the tentative whisper from Piper a short distance away  
"There's a pule" Alex replied quickly, moving back over to Piper, she grabbed Piper by the coat and pulled her upwards so they were face to face "What the fuck happened"  
"She tried to kill me, I lost it" Piper mumbled, she was looking right through Alex, like she wasn't there, Alex felt a chill go down her spine but placed the blame on the cold  
"It was self defence" Alex stated  
"Healy was there, he just...ignored it. He wanted me to die. I lost control" Piper continued to babble  
"What are you guys- what the fuck?" Nicky stepped into view. Alex held Nicky's eye for a moment hoping to herself that it would explain the situation, she seemed to understand. Nicky quickly crossed the distance and placed herself beside Alex  
"Chapman this is what's gonna happen ok? You're gonna say it was self defence, me and Vause are gonna agree- we'll say we were witnesses ok? You're gonna go to SHU but at least you won't end up like Miss Claudette. But you gotta let us help you okay? Tell us what happened. Every detail"  
Piper stared at Nicky before turning to Alex, her eyes lost, Alex tried to ignore the pain she felt on behalf of Piper, she must be so scared. Alex offered a small smile and a nod- all events of the past day couple of days forgotten. Piper took a deep breath and tried to explain what had happened as quickly as possible, she pointed to the screwdriver that was beside several drops of blood  
"Shit Chapman, where'd you get that from?"  
"Big Boo. Secret Santa"  
"Fuck" Alex sighed again, she leant forward and grabbed the object, stuffing it in her coat pocket, she hoped to God or whatever was out there that she wouldn't get searched when the guards find them.  
Nicky began explaining to them both what they would both say as quickly as possible before dashing off to find a guard, Piper had made it clear to avoid Healy, even going so far as to say "Even Pornstache would be better than him at the moment"  
Alex watched as Nicky disappeared into the Chapel.  
"Hey" She tried to get Piper's attention "Hey kid, look at me" Alex placed a comforting hand on Piper's shoulder. Frightened eyes met her own "It's going to be okay"  
"No It won't" Piper sighed looking down  
"Yeah.." Alex agreed "it's going to be shit, but you're going to get through it okay?" Piper's eyes shot back up  
"I am so sorry" Piper whispered. Alex stared at her in confusion, sorry for what? She didn't have time to ask, Pornstache and some of the other guards came rushing outside at this point, Bennett going straight to Doggett and shouting various commands into a radio, Mendez pushed Alex away from Piper and grabbed the blonde, as the scene unfolded Alex thought back to Taystee's goodbye party, it was eerily similar. Only this time, Piper didn't try to fight back. Alex pushed a hand through her hair and let out a long breath, as Mendez walked past with Piper in tow she could have sworn she heard him say "she deserved it"  
Maybe the perv wasn't so bad after all? Alex saw Nicky talking to Bennett, assumingly explaining her version of events. The scene must have caused the pageant to come to an abrupt close as many other inmates had began to show up to watch the scene unfold, her eyes met Taystee's, Pousseys and Big Boo's, they all held the same expression, had they known this was going to happen? The three girls approached Alex  
"Is she okay?" Big Boo asked  
"I don't know" Alex shook her head as she kicked the snow aimlessly "I need you to hold onto something for me" Big Boo looked at her questioningly, Alex looked around and saw all of the guards were pre-occupied with other inmates, Alex pulled the screwdriver from her pocket and thrust it into Boo's hands  
"Did she use it?"  
"Didn't need to, but she'll never get out of here if they knew she had it" Alex admitted with a sigh  
"Shit" Poussey sighed as the sirens of an ambulance came closer. Alex scanned the crowd once again, her eyes finally locked with him  
Healy. That bastard, Alex held her gaze, staring him down- the bastard had the audacity to just smirk smugly and turn away.  
"Vause! Nichols!" A voice rang over the steady sound of the crowd, Alex sought it out- her eyes landing on Figueroa "With me. Now" Alex shot a glance over to the inmates beside her and back over to Nicky who nodded before following the woman, Alex quickly followed suit.

Alex and Nicky had been put into a room separately and told to explain what happened. Alex had hoped she hadn't come across as too nervous, but hoped that if she had it could be mistaken for shock at what they had allegedly seen. Figueroa wrote down everything, leaving no detail spared  
"What's going to happen to her?" Alex asked suddenly, unable to avoid the topic any longer. Fugueroa looked up to meet Alex's eyes  
"SHU" she stated simply "For her own safety and well being"  
"For how long"  
"I can't share that information with you. What I can tell you is, despite Chapman's actions being in self defence, she is looking at an extended sentence now."  
That was it, it was done. Piper was safe from being locked up into maximum security and Doggett was out of the way, nobody knew whether or not she would even survive her injuries, the paramedics had simply said that only time will tell.

They had all gathered into Piper's room, despite how annoying a majority of the other inmates thought she was, they did like her- it was much like how the mourned Tricia, all gathered on the two beds, Taystee, Poussey, Red, Big Boo and Romana all together on Taystee's bed while Alex, Nicky, Morello, Sister and Sophia all on Piper's. Alex was hugging onto Piper's pillow, trying not to focus on how much it smelt like her.  
It was Red who finally broke the silence  
"I never thought she would have it in her" the group hummed in mutual agreement  
"How long will she be there?" Alex asked again  
"Who knows" Red shrugged  
"If Healy has a say in it, a long time- that dude don't like her" Poussey shrugged  
"God, Chapman" Nicky sighed  
God, Chapman indeed. Alex agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N) First of all, thank you all! The feedback has been overwhelming for me!  
Second: It occurred to me a few hours ago that in the show Mendez got suspended. So for the sake of this fanfic we're just going to pretend that he got brought back in time for the Christmas pageant  
But back to the story, the first half is told from the PoV of some of the other inmates during Piper's stay in SHU, that's all I'm gonna say- Enjoy!

**Nicky**  
She tried to ignore how every morning she would pass by Alex's cube only to see her mark a line on a piece of paper, it wasn't until five days after the incident Nicky finally realised what Alex was doing.  
She was keeping a tally, a tally of each day Chapman isn't there.  
She wonders how long it will be until she stops counting

**Taystee**  
It doesn't bother her that Alex spends a lot of time in the cube with her. She tries to give Alex as much time to herself as she can. She understands after all, if the same thing happened with Poussey she would imagine herself being exactly the same.  
But it isn't the same, Vause and Chapman have something different, pure.  
Taystee walks into the cube later on that day, not surprised to find Alex curled up on Chapman's bed hugging the pillow

**Sister Ingalls **  
She knows Alex isn't religious, and despite what some of these girls think, she isn't an idiot- she knows what they get up to inside the chapel. So when Sister walked into the Chapel on Sunday morning, she wasn't surprised to find Alex sat there at the foot of the alter, head resting against the alter, glasses discarded at her side. Sister took a seat at the side of her and placed a hand on her shoulder.  
Alex jumped a mile  
"Holy crap! Sister?" Her voice was laced with sleep  
"Hello Alex, how are you holding up?" Sister asked. Alex just shrugged and reached for her glasses  
"It shouldn't be affecting me this much" Alex sighed  
"That Piper is in SHU?"  
"She told me what it was like in there the last time, she was only in there for like two days" Alex took a shaky breath "it's already been two weeks, how much longer can she be in there"  
"She will get out" Sister responded, her voice taking a confident tone- Alex needed reassuring, not pity  
"But what if the woman who walks out of there isn't the same woman who went in?" Alex asked in a quiet voice.  
Sister nodded to herself, she had heard stories about SHU, how it changes a person  
"You aren't alone in your fear, I am sure that all of her friends feel the same way, whether they admit it or not"  
"it's my fault"  
"What are you talking about?" Sister asked, she wrapped her arm tighter around Alex into a comforting hug  
"Nobody will talk to me about what happened, I can't tell if they're trying to protect me from it or if they're just trying to sweep the entire thing under the rug"  
"Both" Sister admitted, when Alex's head shot towards her Sister felt elaboration was needed "on the one hand, despite your tough, bad ass attitude you're affected by this and don't even bother trying to deny it. On the other hand it's how we deal with things here, a lot of things have happened since you two got here but it's true, you saw how we dealt with Tricia's passing, we all have to put up a front, we can't look weak here" Sister sighed  
"Thank you Sister" Alex gave a small smile "I needed to get that off of my chest"  
"Any time Alex"

**Alex**  
It's been two months since Piper went into SHU, two months. Alex still kept a daily tally, everyday she would corner a guard, Fischer or Bennett specifically, but Alex found herself even asking Pornstache.  
Today was a new day, as Alex walked into the cafeteria and locked eyes with Mendez, he just shook his head- perv or not, he had been rather tolerable towards her, though Alex assumed it was just due to his growing disdain for Healy.

She was alone working in the laundry room when Mendez walked in, Alex's stomach flipped so quickly she dropped the bundle of clothes she was holding  
"Is she-"  
"No" he cut off with an exasperated tone "I heard something, thought you'd wanna know- but it's between us deal?"  
"Deal"  
"That night, Chapman demanded a new councillor"  
"That's it?"  
"That's it" Mendez smirked and left the room  
"Asshole" Alex growled and gathered up the clothes she had previously dropped and continued to fold them

**Piper**  
She felt nothing  
Was she even still alive?  
Who was she?  
What was this room doing to her? The screams echoed throughout the complex but no longer did they shock her, Piper took a moment to muse that if she ever got out of here she would actually find herself missing the sounds. They were a part of her now.  
It felt like she had been in here for years, the faces of the people she called her friends had begun to fade from her memory.  
Except for Alex of course, no. Her face, her body, her soul burns bright in Piper's mind, never fading.  
The distant sound of footsteps approaching pulled her from her thoughts, was it time for a meal? She turned her head expectantly towards the slot where the tray would be pushed through.  
The door opened, the sound of the hinges protesting sent chills down her spine.  
"Today's your lucky day Chapman."  
Mendez  
"Come on inmate. On your feet" Piper couldn't, she couldn't even register the fact that she did in fact have legs, Mendez stared at her for a moment before sighing and pulling her to her feet, Piper lost her balance and clutched the wall for support  
"How long?" Piper had to strain to get the words out, despite her best efforts it sounded weak  
"Two months. It's the start of March"  
Shit, March? Piper stared at Mendez, trying not to memorize every detail of his face, this was her first human contact since the very same man dragged her to the cell two months ago.  
"Come on. You look like shit, I'm taking you to the cafeteria" he grabbed her arm, gentler this time, as though he was afraid her arm would snap like a twig if he put too much pressure on her, who would have thought this pervert could actually have somewhat of a soft spot, as they walked down the hall that led to the outside Piper took several deep breaths, she was getting out.  
"Not going to pass out on me are you?"  
Was that a fucking joke?  
"I had a word with the kitchen, they're going to serve you up some breakfast before the rest of the inmates get in"  
"Why...?" Piper asked, he was being...nice, there had to be a catch- it's like Watson said, nobody does nice things here without wanting something in return  
"Me and some of the other guards were talking, we assumed you'd be close to death by the time you got out and damn we were right" Piper stared at him, waiting for him to go into detail. Mendez looked straight ahead and pulled the doors leading to the outside open.  
It was like she had died and gone to heaven. The cool air hit her face, if not for the firm grip on her arm, Piper was sure she would have been blown right over. The leaves of the trees were growing back. The sun broke through the clouds warming Piper's face.  
The start of spring, the season associated with rebirth.  
Piper realised she was crying, she wiped at the tears hastily and turned to face Mendez, who was now watching her- she was expecting a snark remark but none came, something has changed in him too, was it the suspension?  
Whatever it was she was thankful for it  
She was also thankful that she decided to shower what she assumed was last night. As they walked back up towards the main building Mendez let go of Piper's arm  
"Healy isn't in today"  
Four words, that's all it took for Piper to smile  
"That's why I'm out isn't it? Because he isn't here" Mendez didn't respond, he didn't have to. She knew it was the truth.  
They walked in silence the rest of the way into the building, Piper only speaking to greet Fischer.  
They didn't pass any inmates during the entire walk, as they entered the cafeteria only the kitchen staff were there, Piper turned to Mendez who just nodded his head in the direction of the food.  
Using every ounce of self control she had, Piper walked slowly towards them.  
Upon arrival she was met with a series of greetings from inmates whose names she didn't know, one of them yelled something in Spanish to somebody before holding up a finger towards Piper, indicating she wait, only to return a minute later and filled the tray to the point overflowing with food  
"To help you build up your strength" she winked  
"Thank you" Piper had wanted to say so much more but the simple act of kindness had left her practically speechless, as she walked back towards the table she used to sit at inmates began to walk in.  
They stopped dead in their tracks.  
"Yo what's the hold up?" A voice pushed through the crowd "Chapman!" Big Boo pushed the women out of the way and stood at the table and just stared "You're out"  
"I'm out" Piper repeated with a chuckle

**Alex**  
The walk towards the cafeteria had was making Alex tense.  
There was a strange feeling in the air, it felt like excitement, as she got closer to the cafeteria the chatter of the other inmates seemed to be louder than usual.  
She entered the room and caught the gaze of Mendez, who was stood on guard beside her. He just gave a sly smile. Alex scoffed to herself, calling him a series of names inside her mind.  
That was when her eyes fell on her regular table, there were people surrounding it, Alex couldn't even make out the people sat there.  
It was Nicky who spotted her, they held eye contact for a moment. Alex felt her heart drop  
Nicky knew something  
Fearing the worst Alex took a deep breath and began to walk towards the table, watching as Nicky whispered something in a few peoples ears. The crowd turned to face Alex simultaneously, a moment passed like this.  
And then they parted.  
Alex couldn't put into words the feelings that ran through her body, relief, joy, fear, dread. All so conflicting, all so intense, it felt like a punch to the gut  
"Piper." she breathed


	4. Chapter 4

(A/N) So I feel as though It hit a metaphorical brick wall, this took probably 8 or so hours to actually write- I kept losing my muse... Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! (Also, another A/N will be at the end, so please read it, much love!)

**Alex**

"Piper" Alex repeated again, more so to reassure herself than anybody else. The blonde in question held her gaze for a moment before standing up and moving seamlessly through the small crowd, Piper came to a stop a few feet away.  
"Alex" her voice was throaty, the slight wince not lost on Alex. The room had become silent, not a comfortable silence. No, it was the type of silence that threatens to choke you, suffocate you, a painful silence. It was as though the entire room were collectively holding their breaths.  
Neither woman dared speak, dare move in fear of the illusion being shattered. Piper had lost weight, her face shallow, hair limp and in need of some help. She seemed smaller than Alex remembered as well.  
What really caught Alex's attention was her eyes, they were burning straight through her and into her soul. There was a spark there, a spark that Alex hadn't seen for years, it left a slight feeling of unease in her. It was then Alex realised why the rest of the room was silent, nobody knew what Piper was going to do, from Alex's perspective it looked like Piper was either going to punch her or hug her.  
"Vause, you blinked, Chapman wins" Nicky spoke suddenly, her voice cutting through the silence. That was the moment Piper surged forward, wrapping her arms tightly around Alex's neck in a bone crushing hug. Alex hesitated for a moment, afraid that if she put the same amount of force into the hug she would end up hurting the woman in front of her.  
As Alex wrapped her arms around Piper's waist she heard a collective sigh of relief from the rest of the room. Alex felt Piper rest her head on her chest and Alex followed suit by resting her chin on Piper's head  
"Are you ok?" Alex whispered  
"Is this real? Are you really here?" Piper responded, catching Alex off guard  
"I-i think so" Alex replied  
"Inmates no touching!" Mendez yelled  
"Spoilsport" Alex grumbled as she pulled away reluctantly. Piper offered a small smile and walked back towards her food.  
Alex and the rest of the women that normally sat at her table walked off to get their own breakfasts  
"That was the only thing she's said since we showed up" Nicky whispered as they got into line  
"What?"  
"When she said your name" Nicky clarified "It was the first thing she said" Nicky shrugged  
"How long were you guys there before I got here?"  
"Dunno, like five minutes I guess?"  
"Shit"  
"Shell shocked" Morello offered, Big Boo hummed in agreement

They all returned to the table a few minutes later with trays in hands, Alex took the seat directly opposite Piper- watching with deep interest how she was trying to act relatively civil and not inhale the rest of the remaining food on her tray.  
"Good to be back Chapman?" Nicky smirked, turning her attention to the woman beside her  
"You have no idea" replied quickly  
"Are you happier to see the food or us?" Nicky asked  
"Well I have missed the food quite a lot" Piper's eyes shot to Alex for a brief moment "But I have to admit I have missed the present company" she added with a smile  
"Chapman your voice sounds like you smoke a pack a day." Morello pointed out  
"Swing by later, I got some spare cough syrup, should clear that thing right up" Nicky added.  
Throughout the rest of breakfast, Alex just observed Piper, taking note of the change that had taken place over the past two months, when Piper finished her meal, Alex pushed some of her own food onto her tray. Confused eyes met her own, Alex just smiled and nodded at the food before turning her attention to her own, her smile growing when she saw Big Boo followed by Nicky and Morello follow suit.

As the group went to leave the cafeteria, Mendez stopped them  
"Chapman, Caputo's office"  
"She didn't do anything!" Alex snapped, an hand gripped her arm  
"It's okay Alex" Piper whispered  
"I'm going to let that outburst slide this time inmate" Mendez sneered as they walked away. Alex and Piper muttered their goodbyes to the group before taking a moment to themselves  
"You sure it's okay?" Alex asked  
"Yeah, I mean, it's not Healy so...yeah" Piper shrugged. Alex watched her for a moment  
"Alright. Fine, whatever" she shrugged, trying to remain blasé, despite the nerves building inside of her, what if she gets sent back? What if she gets move to maximum security?  
"Alex. It's fine" Piper reassured, clearly seeing through the façade "I'll speak to you later ok?" the tone she used suggested that it was more of a 'we need to talk later' more than a question. Alex simply nodded before Piper span on her heels and headed in the direction of Caputo's office.  
"You're losing your bad ass touch inmate" Mendez said, Alex shot him a glare and headed off towards her cube.

**Piper**  
At least they didn't seem terrified of her, she had expected them to run for the hills when she got out, but they didn't. They stuck by her, she offered words of comfort, gave her extra food and began to act like she had never left. For that she was thankful, if they hadn't of done that she probably would have asked to go back into SHU. She saw they way Alex had looked at her before she had left for Caputo's office, she was scared, scared that Piper was going to go back to SHU, that this was all just a one day thing because of Healy's absence, Piper refused to admit that the very same thought had crossed her mind.  
There was so much to say to them, to Alex, but not enough time to say, not enough words in the dictionary to explain her experience, the way her whole perception on life has changed.  
How she feels about Alex.  
It wouldn't be right to tell her right now, no. There was still Larry to deal with, Polly, her mother. They needed to be told first. It's not fair on anybody to keep stringing them along this way.  
She just needs time  
But there is never enough, not enough time.  
Piper decided to call Polly when she was done speaking with Caputo, call Polly. Organise a visitation. Talk to Polly, she's her best friend. She'd have some form of advice. Get Polly to force Larry to come and visit so she can explain everything. Get Polly to come again to act as a buffer between her and her mother.  
That's what she'd do.  
Piper was so wrapped up in her thoughts she almost walked straight past Caputo's office. Bracing herself she knocked the door twice  
"Come in"  
taking a deep breath, Piper opened the door and crossed the threshold  
"Ah Chapman, take a seat. How are you feeling?"  
"Good to be back sir" Piper smiled, attempting to sound as upbeat as possible  
"Good to hear, we have a few things to discuss as you might imagine"  
"Okay..."  
"First things first," Caputo pulled a file from his desk "Your request for a new councillor was granted and as of today it shall be me"  
Piper let out a relieved sigh  
"Secondly, the Christmas pageant interview, do you remember it?"  
"Hardly" Piper shook her head  
"SHU will do that to you" Caputo nodded "Not to worry, the statement you and the two witnesses gave are strong, but that leads on to the next order of business"  
"My sentence" Piper stated  
"Indeed, even though you acted in self defence, you still caused grievous bodily harm to Doggett, so you are looking at an extended sentence, we're waiting to hear back from the judge, but we'll probably know within the week."  
"Understood sir"  
"Any questions?"  
"No"  
"Then you're free to go" Caputo gestured towards the door. Piper nodded and began to walk towards it "Try not to land yourself back there ok Chapman?"  
"Understood" Piper called over her shoulder before leaving the room.

Caputo. Done, next order of business, Polly.  
Piper couldn't stop bouncing on her feet as she waited for Polly to answer, she was growing increasingly frustrated.  
"Piper?"  
"POLLY"  
"Holy shit are you okay? Where have you been?" the worried tone in Polly's voice stood out  
"SHU- Did, did nobody tell you?"  
"We've been in the dark here Pipes, Larry hasn't spoken about it, your mother knows nothing-"  
"I need you to visit" Piper interrupted  
"Pipes, I can't just visit, I have a kid now"  
"Please. I need to talk to you, I need your help."  
After what felt like an eternity of silence, Polly took a deep breath  
"Fine. I'll be on the next visit ok?"  
"Great. Don't tell Larry or mom I spoke to you ok? Bye" Piper slammed the phone back onto the hook before Polly had a chance to reply.  
Now what?  
Piper needed to talk to somebody  
She didn't want to risk hurting Alex until she had filtered down her thoughts, but didn't trust Nicky enough to keep it secret.  
Sister Ingalls!  
Chapel.

Piper had walked as quickly as possible to get to the chapel without attracting too much attention.  
"Sister?" Piper called to the empty chapel as she walked down the aisle towards the alter  
"I'm here" Sister replied as she walked in through the other door  
"Sister! I'm so glad to see you!"  
"Chapman! You're out, how are you?"  
"I needed to talk to someone"  
"Well I'm here"  
"You won't tell anybody?"  
"Your words will not leave the confines of this chapel." Sister Ingalls stated as she took a seat at the foot of the alter, patting the spot beside her, gesturing for Piper to sit down.  
"What's troubling you?"  
"Everything." Piper stared straight ahead  
"A bit of elaboration would be nice"  
Piper took a deep breath and tried to stop her foot from bouncing on against the floor  
"I'm losing my shit sister"  
"Because of SHU" Sister stated, Piper hummed in agreement  
"Among other things, but that has...made it worse." Piper took another shaky breath "It's like I've lost the filter, I have so many words, so many thoughts but I can't put them into an actual sentence. I can't say what I want to say to the people I want to say it to."  
"What do you want to say"  
"So much. I want to tell everybody about how being in that fucking room fucked up my mind. But how it made me see things so much clearer. How now I understand all of the shitty decisions I've made and how fucking fragile life is and-"  
"Calm down dear, you're going to put a hole in the floor if you don't stop that foot"  
"Sorry." Piper mumbled  
"It's ok, you were saying?"  
"I said to one of the kids on that came here to be scared straight that I was afraid that I was myself here, but I'm not now. I'm not! SHU showed me that I've been living in a box for the past few years and all it took for me to realise that was by being put in an even smaller box." Piper placed both of her hands on her knee in an attempt to calm herself. "I feel as though I've been walking backwards, and now I've hit a standstill. A crossroad where I have to make a decision."  
"What are they?"  
"Alex or Larry"  
"Oh"  
The pair fell into silence  
"Chap- Piper, why are you beating yourself up over them?"  
"Because they both fucking love me and I can't fucking see why. What can they possibly see In me? I've done nothing but hurt them both and I already know which road I want to take but I can't fucking do that yet because I can't get my head together and talk about it to them. I also can't do anything about it until I clear the air with the other"  
"Which road are you going to take"  
"Alex. It's always been Alex. I just didn't want it to be. I love Larry- no. I loved what he represents"  
"Which is?"  
"Stability. Safety"  
"But you don't want that?"  
"I don't think I ever wanted that. I'm not sure who's been walking around in my body for that last few years but it wasn't me and it definitely isn't me now. I'm going to be here for a while longer for beating the shit out of Doggett and I'm totally fine with that. But I can't keep doing it like this. Hurting the two people who love me."  
"But you won't tell Alex how you feel. Why?"  
"Because if I tell her while me and Larry are still technically together I risk hurting her all over again and I can't. I fucking can't. I can't do it sister. I can't" Piper's voice had become increasingly loud, her words beginning to mesh together in a frenzy  
"Piper. Dear, you need to calm down. Take a deep breath. Sister Ingalls rubbed circles against Piper's back.  
After a few minutes, Piper's breathing evened out.  
"Okay Piper. Carry on. Take it slow"  
"Okay" Piper took another deep breath "I love Alex."  
"You said that already"  
"I love everything about her. I was scared, scared of free-falling through life, no serious commitments. But there is so much out there, and when I get out of here I want to experience It all. Sure I want kids one day, and maybe Alex doesn't, but I think I can accept that."  
"You don't know?"  
"People change" Piper shrugged "I just want to live life. And I'm pretty damn sure I want to live it with her. If she'll have me"  
"What are you going to do about it?"  
"I'm going to see Polly on visitation, try to explain the situation minus the breakdowns, then I'm going to see Larry and my mother respectively and tell them."  
"And then?"  
"I tell Alex how I feel"  
"Anything else?"  
"Try and keep my shit together. I can't lose my mind and end up in the psych ward. Suzanne told me what that place was like, I can't leave this place again. I can't leave again. I can't keep standing here. I need to try and fix everything and move forward" Piper turned to face Sister  
"It sounds like you have it all worked out, are you feeling better after this chat?"  
"A bit. I just hope that I won't meltdown any more." Piper sighed "I need to get some sleep." She added a moment later  
"Go, go get some rest, get something for your throat if possible"  
"Thank you sister." Piper stood and began to walk down the aisle  
"Any time and remember Piper." Sister called out, Piper turned her attention back to sister "Taking steps is easy. Standing still is hard" Piper nodded and turned back around.

**Sister Ingalls**  
She watched as Piper walked back down the aisle and leave the chapel. Letting out a large sigh, Sister got to her feet.  
"I suppose you heard all of that?" She asked.  
Alex stepped into the Chapel and looked towards the door Piper had just left through.  
"Every word"

(A/N) So I'm trying to write Piper in a more "psychotic breakdown" way for lack of a better term, I hope it shows/comes across how I intend it to... (let me know! Hint hint)


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N) So this is a short chapter, forgive me guys! (Tomorrow's will be a lot longer as usual though, it'll make sense when you guys read it) Another note at the bottom

**Alex**

"How did you know I was here?" Alex asked, turning her attention to the older woman  
"The minute Piper began to lose it" came the simple reply. Alex nodded to herself, as she had seen Piper become increasingly erratic Alex had to physically restrain herself from shooting to the blondes aid.  
"What do I do?"  
"You heard what she said" Sister Ingalls replied. Alex hummed. Piper loved her, Piper was choosing her.  
"I need to give her time" Alex stated  
"She has a plan and she's already on the verge of a breakdown- you can't push her"  
"So I just leave her to it?" Alex asked  
"No, no. If you ignore her you'll just make it worse for her, she needs your support and comfort, you need to let her make the choices and let her come to you when she's ready"  
"It kind of ruins the moment when she does, because I already know"  
"That's your fault for eavesdropping child" Sister winked  
"Alright, later Sister" Alex waved as she headed towards the exit Piper had left through.

She was experiencing deja vu, Piper was kneeling on the floor, her head buried in her hands, she was in the exact same spot Alex had found her straddling Doggett those two months prior.  
"Pipes?" No response "Piper?" nothing "Piper!" Alex dropped to her knees in front of her and took her hands in her own, pulling them from her face. Tear stained eyes met her own  
"What's wrong?"  
Piper opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.  
"Come on kid, focus on me. Breathe. You need to breathe. Stay focussed on me Pipes come on. Copy me" Alex took a deep breath, hoping Piper would follow suit. She let out an frustrated sigh when she didn't "Piper seriously. Breathe, come on." Alex took another deep breath, this time Piper followed suit.

**Piper**  
It felt as though somebody had dropped an elephant on her head, like she was drowning. There was so many ways she could try to explain what was happening but none of them felt accurate enough. She was trying to follow Alex's breathing, Alex was trying to pull her back to the surface but the memories of that night continued to claw at her, dragging her deeper into the depths of her own mind.  
"Come on Pipes, we're going to get through this" Alex whispered. A pang of guilt shot through Piper's body, Alex looked ready to pass out from all this breathing.

**Alex**  
Piper's breathing was evening out, good timing, she was beginning to feel seriously light headed.  
"I'm sorry" Piper whispered, Alex gave her a reassuring smile before wiping away the tears with her thumbs  
"No need to apologise, what happened?"  
Piper let out a sigh and glanced down towards the ground before meeting Alex's eyes once more  
"I remembered"  
"Oh" No further explanation needed, she was talking about Doggett  
"Is she-"  
"No." Alex interrupted. "She's in a coma, but apparently the doctors reckon she'll make a full recovery"  
Piper let out a breath of relief before dropping her head onto Alex's shoulder  
"I don't know what I'd do if I'd have killed her"  
"She tried to kill you as well remember"  
"That doesn't make it right Alex" Piper mumbled, her voice muffled by Alex's shirt. They stayed like this for a moment before Piper lifted her head and shifted her position so she was sat cross legged on the ground.  
After a moment Alex copied her, leaving them sat opposite each other  
"I have to ask you something" Piper broke the silence  
"Me too" Alex agreed  
"You go first" Piper gestured to Alex  
"'Kay, what's going on with you?" she muttered "Like, you seem different, but not different, you know what I mean? Freak outs aside, you just have a look in your eye, a look I haven't seen in you for ten years"  
Piper frowned at Alex for a moment before her face relaxed back into a neutral look  
"I realised how short and fragile life is, that it's time I took responsibility for my own actions, you said it before, I always deflect my problems, I refused to accept that anything was my own fault. I'm going to fix that. So yeah, I have changed" Piper shrugged. Alex observed her for a while, she knew what she was referring to but spoke nothing more of the matter.  
"Okay, what did you want to ask me?"  
"Why did you and Nicky help me that night" Piper asked, her tone unreadable. That wasn't what she was expecting at all "You were done with me a few hours before hand" Piper added  
"I was angry and hurt" Alex replied  
"I don't blame you. I'm a bitch"  
"Regardless of that" Alex winked, earning a playful shrug from Piper "Even though I was hurt, I couldn't sit back and watch you get sent to maximum security" There was so much more Alex wanted to add, like how she would always be there to protect Piper, regardless of much she had hurt her in the past, how no matter what Piper seemed to do to her, she would always love her. "I'm here for you kid, and so are Nicky, Morello, Boo, Taystee, Watson and so many others, you're loved here and I'm pretty damn sure that they would have all come to your help if they had of been there"  
"But why? Why would you risk it? It's essentially tampering with evidence isn't it? You would have been looking at god knows how much longer in here"  
"I told you, I have your back in here kid, whether you or I like it or not. I wasn't about to let you stay here longer than needs be."  
"I don't know if I would have done it for you." Piper admitted, her focus now on the ground.  
"I know."  
"But that was then" Alex's head shot in Piper's direction. Piper turned her head and smiled  
"I told you. I've changed, we have each others backs, through thick and thin." Piper bumped her shoulder against Alex's.  
Alex re-adjusted her glasses on her face, attempting to push down the overwhelming urge to cry, who would have thought such a simple statement would affect her so much?  
"Through thick and thin" Alex agreed.  
"So what's your grand plan for fixing everything?" Alex asked  
"Right now? I think I need sleep. But I'm seeing Polly on the next visitation"

**Piper**  
She didn't want to mention Larry's name, it felt like a taboo subject right now.  
"Pretty crappy plan Chapman" Alex laughed  
"It's better stand standing still" Piper shrugged. Alex hummed in agreement as she looked up at the sky  
"Taking steps is easy, standing still is hard" Alex replied. Piper stared at her for a moment, feeling a slight frown form on her lips. Alex stood up and turned her attention to Piper, holding her hand out for her to take  
"Shall I escort you back to your cube milady?" Alex curtseyed. Piper laughed, her frown gone  
"Thank you kind sir" Piper allowed herself to be pulled from her sitting position and led back towards her cube.

(A/N) Hi again! Good news! I have the next 3 or 4 chapters planned out ready to write! Also, try and work out why, 1- the chapter is short (it's not because I'm lazy! 2- what's going to happen next!  
See you awesome inmates tomorrow!


	6. Chapter 6

(A/N) Right so first of all... I am so so so sorry it's literally been over a month since I updated. But that is so going to change now. I'm back inmates!  
Second on the agenda... I'm changing up my original plot a bit, by changing I mean I've distracted myself and I'm going to kind of ignore Piper for a while and focus more on Alex and how this is all going to affect her  
Once again, I'm sorry for being useless and thank you all for being patient as I worked through my shitty writers block  
I also think you should follow me on twitter, just saying ( CharlieLesbot)

**Piper**  
Polly was visiting today, Piper couldn't sleep she was so nervous, or excited. Probably both. Piper had faith in Polly, she was her best friend after all, but she couldn't guess how she would react to the news Piper had to share.  
Today felt like a better day, there was no feeling of an oncoming panic attack, her fellow inmates still sat with her during breakfast (they still made a habit of slipping her parts of their meals)  
"You're way too skinny Chapman" Nicky had stated when Piper questioned them. They had her back. She made a promise to make sure she would do the same for them if they needed her.

Piper took a steadying breath before walking into the visitors room. Her eyes locking onto Polly immediately  
"Pipes" Polly greeted warmly, pulling her into a hug "How are you?"  
"I've been better" Piper chuckled as they took their seats  
"What happened?" Polly asked, Piper glanced around at the guards before leaning forward slightly  
"Somebody tried to kill me and I beat the shit out of them."  
"Holy fuck Pipes"  
"I got put in SHU, I got out the day I called you"  
"Holy crap"  
"There's more." Piper glanced around "Healy, one of the guards knew it was going to happen" she added in a hurried whisper  
"Why haven't you told anybody?"  
"Nobody will believe an inmate over a guard." Piper shrugged  
"Holy crap, what about the person you beat up?"  
"She's in a coma... I'm looking at an extended sentence"  
"Piper! Are you fucking kidding me"  
"I know" Piper buried her head in her hands  
"You nearly got killed"  
"I know"  
"Holy shit"  
"There's more"  
"Are you kidding me?" Polly looked exasperated  
"I'm in love with Alex"  
Silence. Polly looked truly overwhelmed  
"Polly?"  
"As in, love her more than Larry?"  
"Yes"  
"As In... leave Larry for drug runner ex girlfriend who sold you out to the cops"  
"Yes"  
"Are you listening to what you're saying?"  
"Believe me Polly, a part of me isn't to keen on the idea either. But I love her and there isn't anything I can do to stop it"  
"Does she love you back?"  
"Yeah"  
"Does she know you're feeling like this"  
"Yes. She doesn't know that I know though"  
"What?" Now Polly looked thoroughly confused  
"That part isn't important" Piper dismissed with a wave of her hand  
"Right then... So you love Alex. You want to be with her and not Larry and you're looking at an extended sentence. Am I missing anything here?"  
"I may also be having a mental breakdown"  
"Oh for the love of... Piper" Polly let out a groan as she shook her head. They fell into a brief silence before Polly took a deep breath "Okay. I'm over it. I...I'm not thrilled at the prospect of you going back to Alex but it's your life. What do you need me to do?"  
"Act as a buffer when I tell my mother" Piper smirked  
"Because THAT won't end badly" Polly replied with a chuckle  
"Believe me I know" Piper sighed  
"Okay, well I've already spoken to her about visiting you and she said she can make the next visitation"  
"What about Larry?"  
"You still want to see him?"  
"I need to be the one to tell him you know?"  
"Well he hasn't agreed to see you yet, not that you can blame him"  
"Tell him and mom about the SHU incident"  
"Leave out Alex?"  
"Definitely leave her out of it, it's up to me to tell them that part"  
"Oh Piper"  
"I know"  
"You always go for the crazy ones"  
"Polls, I think this time around I'm the crazy one" Piper chuckled

**Nicky**  
She had been heading towards the library when she saw them. Healy, Caputo and Pornstache having what looked like a heated argument, glancing around she couldn't see any other inmates and took shelter behind a wall to listen in  
"Why did you let her out!" Healy asked, and damn did he sound pissed  
"She had been there for two months sir" Pornstache replied- wait, they're talking about Chapman!  
"What gave you the right!?"  
"I ordered it Healy" Caputo interrupted  
"Why?" Nicky poked her head around the wall to see Healy, red in the face- the bastard might just explode If he works himself up any more  
"An act of self defence, while it was brutal does not warrant two months in SHU"  
"She is under my care!" Healy barked  
"Not any more"  
"What?!"  
"Mendez, if you don't mind"  
"Of course sir"  
Footsteps got closer to Nicky, she didn't have a chance to react before he rounded the corner. Mendez stared at her for a moment before glancing back towards Healy. When his eyes met Nicky once more he smirked and held a finger up to his lips, indicating she stay quiet before continuing down the hallway  
"Chapman requested a new councillor that night, and after reviewing the case her request was granted."  
"So who's her new councillor?!"  
"I am"  
"She's a troublemaker! A...A lesbian!"  
"Stop with the lesbian witch hunt Healy god damn."  
"Her and that Vause character, they need to be locked away In SHU. They do nothing but cause trouble!"  
"That's enough Healy. Go get some air or something" Nicky glanced around the wall to see Caputo walking away. Healy stared after him for a moment before having what looked like a temper tantrum.  
Nicky waited for him to disappear down a separate corridor before heading to the library to find Alex and hopefully Piper.

**Piper**  
Polly had handled the news well which had lifted a sizeable weight off of her shoulders. As she was heading back to her cube she literally crashed into Nicky  
"Chapman! Just the girl I was looking for!"  
"What, why, what's wrong?" Piper asked. Nicky said nothing, instead she grabbed Piper and led her towards the library, once there they found Alex sat in a corner surrounded by the bookshelves, focused solely on the words in front of her  
"Vause, we have a situation." Nicky stated as she sat down, dragging Piper down with her. Piper and Alex shared a look together  
"What's wrong?" Alex directed to Piper, who shrugged  
"I saw Healy" Nicky stated  
"Oh fuck"  
"Shit" Alex and Piper stated simultaneously  
"What did he say?" Alex asked, moving her glasses to the top of her head  
"He wasn't happy that Chapman over here has a new councillor and is out of SHU. I think he's got it in for you guys"  
"Are you kidding me?" Alex huffed "This is ridiculous, we haven't done anything!"  
"Except for beat the shit out of a meth head and then cover it up" Piper muttered  
"He doesn't know that Pipes"  
"Anyway, Pornstache and Caputo seem fixed on your side"  
"Something I never thought I'd hear..." Alex muttered  
"Pornstache has actually been...civil to me since I got out" Piper stated  
"Look Chapman, this is my advice to you, avoid Healy at all costs. Don't let him see you two together okay?" Nicky patted Piper on the back "I'll leave you guys to process this." Nicky was gone as quickly as she came.  
"This is so fucked up" Piper sighed  
"He really has it in for you" Alex stated  
"And now I've dragged you into this"  
"Hey, what did I say- I got your back" Alex replied quickly.  
"I know... Thank you Alex. Really, thank you. I don't deserve it after all I put you through"  
"Don't get all emotional on me Chapman" Alex pulled Piper into a one-armed hug

**Alex**  
Alex took a deep breath  
"Piper, I was at the Chapel when you were speaking to the sister the other day" Alex was expecting Piper to fly away from Alex, she was anticipating an argument or at least any form of negative reaction.  
"I know" came the muffled reply from her shoulder. That was not what she was expecting. Alex assumed Piper must have sensed something was wrong because Piper pulled away from the hug to see Alex's reaction.  
"How?" was all Alex managed. Piper just shrugged  
"You said the same thing Sister said to me. Taking steps is easy, standing still is hard"  
"And you're not pissed?"  
"No"  
"Why?"  
"Why would I be?"  
"I eavesdropped"  
"But it also means you know how I feel about you, and if you was seriously against it all then you wouldn't be helping me out" Piper replied. Damn she was good  
"You got me" Alex laughed  
"But what I said in there still stands, despite how I feel about you, we can't. Not until I settle everything"  
"With Larry"  
"Yes. And my mother"  
"You're really going to leave him?"  
"Yes"  
One word. That's all it was, but hearing Piper say it to Alex meant everything. Alex pulled her glasses back down over her eyes.  
"I already told Polly" Piper continued.  
"What did she say?"  
"She was surprisingly supportive" Piper chuckled "She's going to act as a buffer between me and my mother"  
"You sure you're not pissed about me knowing?"  
"I'm slightly annoyed that my love confession won't be a fabulous surprise any more, but that's it" Piper shrugged  
"I still expect that confession Chapman" Alex winked. Piper stared at her for a moment before throwing her head back in laughter  
"You got it Vause." Piper nudged her with her shoulder. A moment passed before her expression became stoic "But what do we do about Healy?"  
"We'll work it out" Alex pressed a light kiss to Piper's temple

**Piper**  
To say she was on edge would be an understatement, every time Healy appeared in her line of site, Piper would drop everything to get out of the way  
"You can't keep doing this Chapman" Nicky sighed as she led the way towards the tables "You're gonna run into him eventually"  
"Yeah, well, I'm trying to delay that for as long as possible"  
"Your moms coming to visitation tomorrow right?"  
"Yep" Piper flashed a nervous smile towards Nicky  
"Nervous?"  
"Terrified" Piper laughed as they sat down  
"Seriously though, what will you do if she's against it?" Nicky asked  
"What do you mean?" Piper replied as she peeled off the skin of her orange  
"Like, if she disowns you or shit"  
"Dunno, move on I guess" Piper replied with a shrug "Honestly Nicky, I just want to be here for a week without causing some kind of drama" she added with a sigh  
"Chapman, it's good to finally see you" a voice behind her sneered  
"Are you fucking kidding me" Piper squeaked, the colour draining from her face immediately

**Nicky**  
Nicky watched as Piper turned in her seat to face the officer  
"Mr Healy, how are you?"  
"I'm good Chapman, did you enjoy your vacation?" the tone Healy was using would put Red on edge so god knows how Piper must have been feeling at this moment  
"It was...rejuvenating" Piper shot back  
"I can imagine, did you sleep enough?"  
"...Not as well as I would have liked" Piper mumbled  
"Well, maybe you should have traded places with Doggett, she seems to be getting plenty of sleep" Ouch, low blow, Nicky grimaced at his response.  
"Come and see me later Chapman, we need to have a little...catchup." With that he left, slowly Piper turned back to face her food. Nicky had never seen Piper so white before, it was as though Healy had sucked all the fire from her body  
"Yo Chapman, you okay?"  
"Yeah I'm fine"  
"You don't look fine"  
"I'm fine" Piper stated again. Leaving the pair in silence until the rest of the group arrived for their own breakfasts, nobody could get Piper to talk again, not even Alex- who had shot Nicky an accusating glare, as if to say 'what did you do?!' causing Nicky to hold her hands up in defence and giving her a look saying that she would explain later.  
They watched as Piper excused herself to grab her sweater from her cube  
"The fuck Nichols, what did you do?" Alex hissed as soon as the blonde was out of earshot  
"I didn't do jack shit Vause, Healy showed up"  
"Oh fuck what did he say?"  
"He made a jab about Pennastucky being in a coma and told her to go see him for a 'catchup'" Nicky made an air quote sign to elaborate her point  
"Is that where she's gone now?" Alex asked  
"I thought she was getting her sweater?"  
"Fucking hell" Alex sighed as she buried her head in her hands  
"Vause, you okay?" Nicky asked, she had seen that look in her friend before, the look of pure helplessness. The look of a lost soul  
"This shit is intense" was all Alex said  
"I get you"  
"And Piper is on the verge of ending up in Psych"  
"So will you by the looks of it" Nicky smirked  
"Great, we'll be crazy together"  
"Gotta be rich to be insane, losing your mind is not a luxury for the middle class"  
"Did Nicky Nichols just quote PS I love you?" Asked incredulously  
"They showed it on movie night a few weeks before you turned up" Nicky defended "Anyway, Alex Vause, part of an international drug cartel has SEEN PS I love you?"  
"Piss off" Alex laughed as she leant across the table to shove Nicky  
"Seriously Vause, Piper may be losing her shit and you look ready to slash your wrists. You both need help"  
"What do you suggest?"  
"Let us help you both out more?"  
"Us?"  
"Believe it or not, a lot of people here actually like you and Piper, sans the fact that there has been a hell of a lot of drama" Nicky shrugged  
"What do you suggest?" Alex asked  
Nicky thought to herself for a moment before grinning  
"Okay, this is what we'll do"


	7. Chapter 7

(A/N) Because I'm swerving off of my own plans for this story. Enjoy!

The sound woke her up

What was it? She thought to herself. It sounded distant. Getting to her feet she sought it out.  
Something was off though, not quite right. Where was she?  
Who was she?  
Is this a dream  
What's going on?  
Putting the thoughts to the back of her mind, she continued walking, ignoring the build of pressure in her head, it was as though her ears couldn't adjust to a pressure change- or something like that anyway.  
It was dark  
It was cold  
And she still didn't know where she was

How long had she been seeking out this sound? Voices would appear every now and again, who were they? What did they want. Was that her name they were calling out?

The sound was closer now. Louder.  
She was dreaming.  
Trapped, trapped in her own mind.

A gust of wind  
A yell  
Blood  
Powder. No. Not powder, snow  
Snow.  
Drums?  
No. Fists

Her eyes opened slowly, blinded by the sterile condition of the room around her.  
"Miss Doggett, about time you woke up" a cheerful voice rang through the air


End file.
